Heyyy Slayer,

Welcome back to the Office Slayers— your no BS guide to being the hottest and most confident version of yourself.

Trust me, you’re going to want to save this email for those moments when the world is trying to tell you that you’re mid…

like you’re not that gas

like you’re not that FIIREE

like you’re not that ✨ ZA ✨

Keep reading for the hot girl way out of any bad situation:

When life knocks me down, you can find me doing one of three things:

1. Crying

2. Eating a sweet and/or salty snack

3. Taking a video of me crying and posting it on TikTok (this is the social media strategy all the girls are using these days)

(Sent with invisible ink) If we’re being really honest, I usually do all three of these things.

You’re probably thinking, if hot people always think good thoughts, why do they let bad things get to them?

Because before we’re hot people, we’re just that: people.

No one is immune to the way life ebbs and flows. Even the hottest people have seasons of uncertainty, confusion, and just low vibes.

What do the hottest people also do? The Bounce Back Process:

Step 1: Allow feelings to be felt

One of the hottest (and probably healthiest tbh) things a person can do is allow feelings to be felt.

And if your feelings of despair are best felt while shoveling white corn tortilla chips and pre-made queso blanco down your throat while you rot in bed, so be it.

In life, you always have to follow your inspiration. And sometimes you get inspired to slow down or even to stop for a second.

Do something that helps you cope with the way things have changed for you. Even if that’s just saying “Damn, that sucks," and then making a funny face in the mirror.

Step 2: Know that after a huge flop comes the biggest slay

Ask literally any hot girl you know and they’ll tell you that their hot girl era began right after they (metaphorically) got hit by a truck.

They either a) just got broken up with, b) had one of those colds that lasted several months or c) went radio silent for months with no explanation.

Scientifically, those are the only three possibilities.

So whether it’s math or science or the moon or the universe or Santa Claus, most can agree that after some bad stuff, your life gets really good.

And it can get good really. fucking. fast.

Step 3: Remember who tf you are

Even if your life looks like this meme…

You have to tell the world that it’s crazy for thinking that whatever bad thing that happened is a big issue for you. YOU! A hot girl!! She can handle anything.

Whatever happened? It’s a setback at best. A blip, even.

And that’s when you re-introduce yourself to, well, yourself as hot girl version of you who just got through another hard thing.

Or maybe as hot girl version of you who has work to do and decisions to make, but at least you know what to do now.

Or maybe it’s hot girl version of you who has no idea how or when things will start to feel good again, but you know what your goal is and why you want it and that’s enough.

Common thread? You can still slay from the inside out even if everything around you is on fire.

GEN Z VOCAB BABY

don’t understand some words the kids are using these days?

1. gas (adjective): used commonly to hype someone up (looks, personality) → “omggg don’t gas me up like that”

2. rizz (noun): how good you are at flirting, spitting game. comes from the word “charisma.”

3. bee-keeping age (adjective): when an older person (usually a man) is attractive. so basically a hot dad.

Try to use these in your next company All Hands meeting so you won’t be giving millennial (but maybe not no. 3).

That’s all from me today. Can’t wait for all of us to grow into the hottest slayest most confident most beautiful-brilliant-hilarious-radiant versions of ourselves.

Keep Slaying & see you next week!!

Bella Rose